Stop Asking for a Mentor

Instead ... Ask for advice. Build trust. Let mentorship happen.

I get asked hundreds of times a year to mentor someone.

And I almost always say no.

Not because I’m cold. Simply because “mentor” is a big word. It implies a relationship—with history, context, and real investment. You can’t request that like you’re ordering takeout. You don’t get a longterm commitment on the first date.

Here’s what works instead:

Don’t ask for a mentor. Ask for advice.

One question. One call. One specific problem you’re stuck on.

That’s a small, reasonable ask—easy to say yes to, even for busy people.

And if the conversation goes well, the next step is obvious:

“Would it be okay if I checked back in after I try this?”

Then you do the work. You follow through. You report back. You respect their time.

You don’t “take”—you build credibility.

Repeat that a few times and something sneaky happens:

You’ve stopped chasing a mentor… and started becoming someone worth mentoring.

Most people want to help. They just don’t want to sign a blank check for your career.

So stop hunting for mentors. Start collecting conversations.

The mentorship will find you—after you’ve earned it.