The Two Most Powerful Words in Any Negotiation

What Disney Taught Me About Getting What You Want

A good friend of mine is absolutely obsessed with Disneyland. We’re talking full commitment — goofy hat and all. A few years ago he splurged on a room at the hotel right inside the park, specifically because guests get in an hour early. The plan was simple: the moment the gates opened, he’d sprint across the park and grab a fast pass for his favorite ride before they were gone.

He made it to the kiosk within fifteen minutes of opening. Already sold out.

He stood there stunned, probably looking as devastated as he felt, when a Disney employee noticed him and walked over. “Is everything okay?”

He explained what had happened. She listened, nodded sympathetically, then asked: “And how does that make you feel?”

“Well... I’m kind of bummed out.”

She smiled. “Anything else?”

“I mean, I’m a little upset.”

She smiled again, waiting. “Yes... anything else?”

“I’m...” He paused. “I’m really disappointed.”

Her whole face lit up — like he’d finally said the magic words. Because he had.

“Well, we can’t have that, can we?” she said. She walked over to the kiosk, punched in a code, and printed out three passes.

---

I’ve thought about that story a lot since my friend told me. Because what he stumbled onto — almost by accident — is one of the most powerful tools you have in any negotiation, any difficult conversation, any moment when you need someone to actually help you.

Two words. I’m disappointed.

Here’s why they work so well.

Every other approach puts someone on the defensive. You make an argument, they counter it. You explain why you deserve more, they explain why you don’t. You get frustrated, they get stubborn. The whole thing devolves into a tug of war where nobody wants to be the one who gives ground.

But “I’m disappointed” does something entirely different. It doesn’t accuse anyone. It doesn’t assign blame. It doesn’t make the other person wrong. It simply implies — quietly, powerfully — that you expected better. That you deserved better. And it puts the other person in a position where they genuinely want to make things right.

I saw this play out again with another friend who was preparing for a job offer. He’d done his homework — he had a pretty good read on the title they were going to offer and roughly what the salary range would be. And he was already pretty sure it was going to come in lower than he thought he was worth.

“So what do I do?” he asked me.

“Easy,” I said. “When they make the offer, pause. Take a breath. And then say, I’m disappointed. Then explain, calmly, what you were expecting and why.”

Two days later he called me back. It had worked like a charm.

The thing is, “I’m disappointed” is disarming in a way that almost nothing else is. It doesn’t start an argument. It starts a conversation. And it signals — without any hostility — that the gap between what was offered and what you expected is real, and meaningful, and worth closing.

---

Now. If you want to level up even further, there’s a technique that doesn’t require any words at all.

The wince.

In any negotiation, the single best response to an offer you don’t like isn’t a counter-argument. It’s not even “I’m disappointed.” It’s saying absolutely nothing — and letting your face do the work.

A slow, almost involuntary wince. A slight intake of breath. The expression of someone who was hoping for better and is genuinely trying to hide how much that number stung.

Then silence.

I cannot tell you how effective this is. The other person — almost reflexively — starts filling that silence. They explain. They justify. And often, they start improving the offer before you’ve said a single word. Because nobody wants to be the person who caused that wince.

Together, these two techniques — the words and the wince — work for the same fundamental reason. They appeal to something basic in people: the desire to be seen as fair, as generous, as someone who did right by you. Most people, given the chance to make you feel better without losing face themselves, will take it.

You’re not putting them in a corner. You’re giving them a door.

The next time someone makes you an offer that falls short — a salary, a contract term, a fast pass at Disneyland — resist the urge to argue your case. Skip the spreadsheet of reasons you deserve more.

Just pause. Let your face fall. And say the magic words.

I’m disappointed.

Then wait.